On average, a couple divorcing in the United States spends approximately $15,000 on court costs and legal fees. I tell my clients the very thing a judge once told me, “In every divorce, there are winners and there are losers. The winners are the attorneys, and the losers are the children.” Approaching divorces with a bitter and contentious mindset is one way to quickly rack up not only your spouse’s legal fees, but yours as well. Approximately 90% of divorces could and should be approached with negotiation in mind, rather than a long drawn out court battle. Here are a few ways to make your divorce a little less expensive.

1. Accept that you are getting a divorce.

This piece of advice may seem obvious, but I have to constantly remind clients to make decisions that will allow them to move on. The moment papers are filed, accept that the marriage is over. On the rare occasion, couples do dismiss their divorce case because they have reconciled. However, I am a believer that love is like a wine glass. Once it breaks, you can put it back together, but there will always be cracks in it. Approach your divorce rationally. Do not draw out your divorce just so you can “stick it to him.” Life works the same way. You cannot expect to move on and flourish, if you keep looking back.

2. Get a prenuptial agreement signed before marriage.

A prenuptial agreement is a contract created by both parties, which specifies who will receive which assets should the marriage end in divorce.

3. Do your own divorce.

The internet is such a great resource! It is filled with free legal information written by attorneys and free legal forms to do your own divorce. Check your District Clerk’s website. They usually have forms for free. Also, there are lots of cheap divorce preparation services. If you and your spouse can work together, you both can save a lot of money! A nice trip abroad for each of you (separately!) is far better than paying for your lawyers to take that trip!

4. Be organized.

Remember, this is your case. You cannot expect someone to care about your case, if you do not. Also, no one knows your marriage as well as you do. You hire a lawyer to assist you with the legal aspects of your case. They are not your secretary. It does not make financial sense to lay a large box of documents on your lawyer’s desk, so he or she will have to spend hours digging through it and organizing it. Lawyers are better equipped to do their job when clients are organized.

5. Your attorney is not your spokesperson.

Learn to communicate with your spouse. You do not have to go through your attorney and opposing counsel for every message you need to relay to your spouse. If you have young children, you are going to spend years communicating with your spouse. You might as well learn how to do that now.

6. Exchange information voluntarily.

The bulk of legal fees take place during the discovery phase of a divorce. Discovery is used to find out information and evidence from the other party. Parties that volunteer information end up saving hundreds and even thousands of dollars on legal fees, which is used to track down information and documents that could have easily been exchanged.

7. Skip a trial in court.

Taking a case to trial is incredibly expensive for both parties. Most of the time, cases can be settled without court intervention. You do not want a judge or a jury having to decide issues that are most personal to you. Skip a trial and opt to amicably negotiate with your spouse directly, mediate the issues with the help of a mediator, or resolve your disputes by agreeing to use the collaborative law process.

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